She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
