Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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