you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
