New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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