He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
