Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Farmville is her only friend.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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