She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
