its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
