I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
