I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
