Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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