when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
