how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just gargled with NyQuil
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
