Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
