my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
