CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My dick has a subreddit
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
