Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I want a musical about memes.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
