At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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