I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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