my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
