Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
