my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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