Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
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