well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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