i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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