I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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