I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
