But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Randomize
