how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
