I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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