hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
