I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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