you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
is wine microwaveable?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Randomize