Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize