the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
