I must be too annoying 4 u.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
