forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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