I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
