I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize