Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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