I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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