Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
