yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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