doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
