Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
