I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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