Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
false alarm, still single
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
