And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
