She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
