hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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