Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
