I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
