all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
