You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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