; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize