Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
this just has baby written all over it
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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