i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
