Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
