not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
