its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just cropdusted the office
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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