i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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