I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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