New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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