Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You pole danced in your parka.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
