God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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