Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
