I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Damn victory sex feels great
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
