I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
