Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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