i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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