You just made me feel so damn special
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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