i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
