Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
