I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
