dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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