thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He felt like a one man threesome
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I supernannyed him into submission
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
