Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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