i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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