My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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